Below is a script I wrote for Unilag FM in conjunction with Unicef Roll back malaria programme…..(It was written for Pidgin English speaking audience)
Ogbonke Treatment….Part One.
Plot:
This is about a Man who tenaciously. Clinging to traditions almost lost his only daughter due to Malaria. A story that discourages traditional approach of treating an illness. It also x-ray the mindset of majority of the lower and middle class who get cajoled by the publicity stunts of quack doctors and patronise their products. As obvious the mass amount of lives lost to all these common preventable diseases are the above class of people. A drama that mixes humour and truth to pass across a message.
Setting
the City of Lagos, Residences and market around St Finbarr road Yaba) A common place where all those local herbal retailer hawk their wares.
Baba Comfort: A Stingy Conventional thinker, whose belief in his great grandfather way of treating ailment always resort to Local herbs.
Mama Comfort: A Market woman whose curious attitude surpasses her illiteracy,thus she is always willing to learn.
Comfort : There intelligent daughter in Secondary school.
Doctor Marcus: The professional who lectures on the death trap of Malaria and advices the street people on buying insecticide treated net as well as visiting the hospital for check up during illness.
Bobo Quackie : A con man turned quack herbal medicine manufacturer.
Miss Janet: A neighbour to Baba Comfort.
Market people.
Buyers of bobo quack medicine.
Scene one
Bobo Quackie
Baba Comfort
Mama Comfort
(Bell Ringing in the morning as a medicine hawker shouts his wares and moves around with products…..Note he is a quack so he tries to use bigger english to cajole his ignorant and educated patrons)
Bobo Quackie: It convict Malaria fever, caterpillar asthma, bull-dozer cough ,back to sender witch craft, iron thunder fire impotency, Slap dash Scabies , judo kung fu jedi-jedi , System tarnish syphillis, gallestatate gonococo, salllyssicocolatolo, and any sickness don’t die in pain again…..We are doing bonanza ,because in our head office it is 1000Naira but buy one today at just 2OONaira and buy 4 for 600Naira, don’t waste money in hospital again. Ogbonke power D will do it.
( Different people including some perceived literate people are seen rushing to buy the Medicine)
Bobo Quackie: It will Soon finish oh , come and buy yours after today it is 1000 Naira last.
(Baba Comfort is Seen brushing his teeth outside the house, and listening to the trader at the same time watching people rush to buy theirs.)
Baba Comfort: Mama Comffy , Mama Comffy!!!!!!(Coughing and almost choking)
(Mama Comfort rushes out in fright…Note she is an illiterate so her english mistake is deliberate)
Mama Comfort : Oginni , are you choking ? What happens? You almost give me a Banic attack with the way you loud voice my name. See the way you are buko buko(coughing) , I said go to hospital you won’t go….(Baba comfort interrupts)
Baba Comfort: Give me 200naira please, please sharp sharp (Screams do quick now)
Mama Comfort: (Hisses). For wetin oginni ? Does you giving me the Ego I has pin asking you for house food stint last week…(Mimicks Baba Comfort)It is always nobody came to do photocopy or binder or ….(Baba Comfort interrupt)
Baba Comfort: You this woman ehn, I have always said it that you used calabar juju to make me marry you, did you know what I want to use the money for? Were you not the one that told me Comfort body was hot and that she had headache before leaving for school , now I want to buy the medicine that will cure it you are complaining….(Mama Comfort interrupts)
Mama Comfort: Ah, ewo ……!!!! Don’t bought that Ogbonge bull-dozer oh….Doctor Marcus in the Market womanizing seminar telling us to always buying not bad melicine from road and poto poto corner side oh, he tolded us to always came to holisipiter, when we are sicking…oh and (Baba Comfort shuts her up)
Baba Comfort: Shut up you woman , I have told you not to repeat that doctor name again see….we use this kind of medicine since ages come , even the bible says herb was given to men ….those doctor are 419 they want us to come to hospital , buy net to catch mosquito as if we are peter the fisher men …leave me joor (Calls Bobo Quackie)
Bobo Quackie: Okay Sir, I am BoBo Quackie, with BSC , MAssCC, MSWord, Msexcel , IPodBB, CNTT, in all medicinal herbal connection,d koko the bursha, from Ghana…(Baba comfort interrupts)
Baba Comfort : oh that’s great please I want to buy one of those medicine ogb o….nm
Bobo Quack: Ogbonke bull dozer combater, immortal, Moringa, ….Rants on
Baba Comfort : Wait let me go and get the money inside ( Rushes in Mama comfort rushes after him hissing and taliking…)
(Inside the living room)
Baba Comfort : Mama comfort when comfort use it and get well don’t beg me to give you oh…where is my purse?…Oh here it is…
Mama comfort: Noooo!!!! I won’t letting you kill my comfort for me with that melicine , I does not turust that bobo quackie he lying …( Baba comfort ignores her and enters the room bangs the door)
Baba Comfort : Wait there and be talking , what do you know about medicine , you can’t even speak well ..I attended Federal govt technical secondary school since 1972 what can you teach me. I will go and buy it..(He leaves to go and buy the Medicine )
Mama Comfort (Speaking to her self) fedelar gofamint teleckical sekon…nonesense he has forgotten the day he shitting for bed after drunking opa eyin, afato, lemon grass of mama bilikisu….I will not letting him to using that melicine on my comfort..(Hisses)
Scene 2:
Afternoon ….
Comfort: (Shivering on the bed..) Daddy my head aches, the teacher said I should tell you to take me to hospital,.I could not write or pay attention today in class my body was very hot.
Baba Comfort : Sorry because I was waiting for you I did not go out, you will be well now now, please eat that bread and kuli kuli let me go and get the medicine I just bought.(Rushes out and returns beaming with joy and pride) Here it is…
Comfort: But daddy teacher said I should be taken to the hospital , what medicine is that …I won’t take it they said it is not good for us to use medicine without nafdac number.
Baba Comfort : Oh, Oh, it will make you well …I am your father would I poison or hurt you ? Nafdac is just an assembly of 4 or 6 phone number digits that they use to deceive you public…(Shakes it and offers her a cup)
Comfort: No daddy, it will be fake, they said drugs like that harm or destroys the intestine or leads to death ….I don’t want…
Baba Comfort: See this my daughter because you know one grammar of Queen Elizabeth you want to teach me…You and your mother..that illiterate woman who never saw ABC in class for one day is teaching you all these yeye ideas , comon drink before I flog the headache out of you. How can you want to disrespect me your father…Take joor (gives her the cup)
Comfort 😦 Collect the cup mumbling ..)
Dad it is very bitter oh….
Baba Comfort: good girl that is my daughter , the more bitter it is the better …I know that you are my daughter as intelligent as I am ,wise as I am don’t mind that your mother she is like a bonga fish that want to teach a whale to swim…
Comfort : Daddy I want to sleep….
Baba Comfort: laughs, you see it is working and doing the miracle already that’s how you know good medicine you sleep in sickness and wake in good health…sleep my dear…when you wake up I will buy you Mummy Ekene puff puff you hear…my sweet comfie baby…walks out whistling….
Baba Comfort: (seen reading the instruction manual) What did they say the medicine does for quick ejaculation ,so that I will show that my calabar wife today that khaki is not leather in head and on bed. (Reads Aloud mix with milk 30 minute before Sex and have a Big penis by 3 more inches and last for 3 hours in first round)
Laughs yes ….that is iT , I will take it and hide it so that she won’t know that this is my secret tonight…mmmm…Also It will cure my cough and malaria feeling…Thank God oh!!!! This is a wonder ….power honda hala….
Scene 3….
Commotion in the house)
Mama Comfort: Baba Comfort has killeding my pickin oh! !!! Help me oh!!!!! See her. Vomiting and stooling uncontrolably….
Baba Comfort: No , maybe I did not mix it well for her , but the Man…said it ..Take it easy mama comfie, please let me go and rush to call okada outside…
Miss Janet : Rushes in…) What’s happening .. AH what’s wrong with comfort , See how she is vomiting Ah !!!! Help oh ?
Mama Comfort :(points the table) That’s the melicine baba comfort gave her oh she is deathing helllep me !!!!oh she screams…
Miss Janet : (picks the medicine and reads and Screams) Yeahhhhhb!!!!! Ogbunke bulldozer Ahhhhhh….This was the medicine that unilag Fm announced …..AHhhhh where is my phone let me call my cab he just left…
Mama Comfort: What did they announcement for your schoolingversity unilagingg fm…(She asked as she wailed on)
Baba Comfort:( Enters) The Bike man is here , let us go …Janet how is your Dad? I heard you saying unilag fm said something about the Medicine what is it? Did they say it heals ,let me know whether it is Mama Ekene puff puff that caused it….
Miss Janet: They said it claimed the life of Four boys who thought it will give them Sexual Stamina and Libido…
Baba Comfort and Mama Comfort: Ahhhhhh , ,,
Mama Comfort : Rushes to hold baba Comfort Shirt) You have murdering my daughter oh…:helllleePpp me people
Baba Comfort: Take it easy let us go to the hospital the bike is outside… Please now leave my shirt please , okay let us go to the hospital , please…Janet please tell her to…
Janet:Mama comfort all hope is not lost, she is still breathing let us rush to Dr Marcus hospital….Baba Comfort you go and tell the bike man to go , my cab man is now outside he has flashed me ….
They all exited and Mama Comfort wailing and
Mama Comfort : Wailing and Screaming when I told him Dr Marcus. Since , miser miser man saying no no …I went to tecklicar grammar nbanti nbanti….
Exit
Final Scene:
Dr Marcus: Thank goodness you brought her on time , if not she would have died …..You see she has a Chronic Malaria and she must be placed on admission…
Baba Comfort : Please doctor anything we will pay , please just make her live , I promise not to use any of those herbal yama yama for me and my family again…please sir biko she is my only child oh Ewo (he sobs as he goes out)
Doctor Marcus: Be a Man , don’t cry your wife is already in a state of hysteria in the reception , if she sees you crying she might think the worse and lose her mind…please we will make sure she is alright only do not ever use anything outside a professional Medical prescription… A lot of people lose their life due to Malaria yearly because of easy preventable measures such as lack of clean environment, Lack of using insecticide treated nets, and other minor excesses….As for those people that seLls fake drugs the hand of the law will catch up with the soon….
Baba Comfort : Now Doctor thank you I will go and throw all those useless good for nothing herbal medicine away, and begin to warn all my friend about the harm of using them to cure Malaria and other illness. Thanks doctor now I believe that inscription on your door that says roll back Malaria, and kill mosquito before it kills you…
Doctor Marcus: Yes that is the truth…
Baba Comfort: Let me go and console and assure my wife as well as go and get comfort clothes food for her as she is on admission, tomorrow I will do a proper home environment sanitation, by the way doctor you said the Mosquito net is given Free by Fashola in this Hospital Abi.?
Doctor Marcus: Of course yes, ….
Baba Comfort: Thank you oh I will collect it and do the free Malaria test for me and my Wife….Thanks
(End of Part One)
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